Remaining site employees have had to stand by powerless as rampaging mobs of hoodie-clad senior managers have reportedly gone on looting sprees at Phoni’s R&D complex at Nether Wallop.
”I was one of last out the door of the discovery department, en-route to an academic spin off. I put in for a donation of equipment for the prestigious academic bolt hole I'm off to.”
“I was naively hopeful of getting some equipment for a good cause, given that several managers had already been allowed to buy million pound bits of gear for a quid and take them out of the back door, no questions asked, within 8 weeks of the site shafting announcement!”
“Given all of the platitudes fed to parliament, local MPs and the press about helping spin-offs and job creation, I was reasonably confident that I could help my new impoverished academic lab to benefit from such largesse. Yet when I, a humble scientist, attempted to secure some gear, I was told only the dregs that they couldn't shift at auction would be considered for donation.”
“It seems O.K. for senior managers (with help from their friends on the asset management STASI) to take millions of pound’s worth of stuff out of the back door on the sly for jack shit, but as for helping former employees at spin offs or start ups - my arse!!”.
Many of the greedy management rioters have been caught on CCTV cameras and have even appeared on Facebook, openly showing off their acquisitions.
“I took advantage of the chaos here to grab me a couple of MALDI-TOF MS and HTS assay rigs,” said one hoodie-clad manager we spoke to. “They’re unused. Worth megabucks. I should get a few quid for this lot at the next local boot sale,” he added.
“That’ll help top up the old severance fund. Luvverly jubbly..!”
Several correspondents have written in with similarly sad tales of opportunistic looting from the real world…
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